I was sitting in Ruby’s, a fine burger joint and sports bar in York, Maine, pondering a white wine with “charming floral, peach, and honey notes” and a red with “pretty plum and blackberry flavors on a supple frame.”
Mostly I was pondering–Who the heck wrote this menu? Nobody from Maine, New Hampshire, or Vermont.
In the rockbound states of northern New England, we don’t hold with flowery adspeak, including winespeak. Even a Boston wine merchant with an online glossary of wine terms clearly labels it “Parody.”
A New England wine review? How about “This wine screams ‘Have me with a grilled steak’.” (Many screaming wines cost less than six bucks a bottle, up in NH.)
One advertiser, Joyal’s Liquors of West Warwick, RI, offers the following capsule review of its Ravenswood Napa Zinfandel ’00:
“Price: 16.49”
Now, that’s carefully nuanced New England review.
At Ruby’s, I chose a red with “ripe raspberry blueberry mocha and vanilla notes.” The grilled onions on my Barbecue Burger may have obscured its “soft supple finish,” but I left satisfied. I was especially satisfied out in the parking lot as I read Ruby’s big sign, the one that faces the highway. They got a New Englander to write that one, I bet. It said:
MEATLOAF
RED SOX
Ruby’s on Route One in York, Maine. The wine list screams, “Get me a New England writer!” but the burgers are awesome.
5 responses so far ↓
1 NatureIsProfligate // Jul 25, 2003 at 8:09 am
That’s some screaming purple prose, no doubt. And “pretty plum and blackberry flavors on a supple frame” sounds like it could have come out of Penthouse Forum! If you’re in the market for some more flowery descriptions, look no further than the american web site of the cosmetics company Yves Rocher. Here’s their description of their Ode a la Joie scent: “Discover this sensational fragrance and let yourself be intoxicated with this charming cocktail of cheerful and lively scents. The brilliant heart of the fragrance emerges like a peal of laughter, revealed by the mischievous encounter of luminous flowers and sun-drenched fruits.” I wish more of the flowers that I spent time with had mischievous encounters.
(http://www.yvesrocherusa.com/shop_app/app_US/jms.jsp?_JMS_FLOW_ID_=6&_JMS_FLOW_NAME_=Main_JFLNUM_1&next=line&familyNodeId=3&lineNodeId=6)
2 Elaine of Kalilily // Jul 26, 2003 at 7:58 pm
Heh. Ruby’s was one place I never discovered in my various trips to York Beach. Route 1 north or south? Just asking for next time.
3 Betsy Devine // Jul 27, 2003 at 9:12 am
Mischievous encounters with sun-drenched fruits? Let’s hope Senator Santorum doesn’t hear about this!
4 Betsy Devine // Jul 27, 2003 at 9:13 am
Hi Elaine–Ruby’s is on the ocean side of Route One, not too far north of the acres of discount stores in Kittery.
5 marcum // Sep 16, 2003 at 8:57 am
There used to be a store in West Paris, Maine (downeast of me) and they had a sign on their wall that said, “Unexpected Company? Give ’em a Moxie, they’ll never show up unexpected again.” I’ve written a few more things about moxie on my site.
More appropriately, Colebrook, NH once made its official slogan, “Welcome to Colebrook, NH. Now Go Home.”