Dateline: Washington, November 17, 2023
The President was having a tiring day. Washington was in the throes of another blackout, and despite the White House’s massive bank of emergency backup generators, the air conditioners in the nursery wing were no longer working. Ten of the fifteen presidential children, with their nannies, their personal aides, and their drama coaches, were milling about the Oval Office.
President Jenna Bush gave a sigh of frustration. “Even in Texas we didn’t need air conditioning in November,” she complained to Vice President Cheney.
“Global Climate Improvement,” said a computerized voice from the massive respirator where Cheney lived these days.
“Global warming,” said Bush a bit crossly, as a toy bazooka bullet bounced off her ankle.
“Global Climate Improvement,” said Cheney’s computer, a bit more forcefully. Rumor had it that the computer itself now handled most Cheney responses.
“Whatever,” sighed the President. “Look, you said you wanted to see me. You asked me to cut short my six-month summer vacation. I had to cancel two golf games and a massage. You guys are supposed to take care of that government stuff.”
“Of course we do.” The computer’s voice was soothing. From speakers around the Oval Office came soothing music, a pop orchestration of Jewel’s Hands song. A light spritz of vanilla and cinnamon from vents in the floor masked the odor of airborne tranquilizer. A hush descended on the president’s children, and several curled up on the carpet to take a nap.
“I don’t want to waste a whole hour in this dump,” said Bush with a yawn.
Anti-Bush protesters are now relegated to what are euphemistically called Free Speech Zones. These areas are cordoned off as far as a mile away from the president and the main thoroughfares, so that Bush cannot see the demonstrators, or their signs of protest, nor hear their chants.
The free speech enclosures are only for those who disagree with the administration’s current policies. Those citizens who carry pro-Bush signs are allowed to line the street where the president’s motorcade passes.
1 response so far ↓
1 Stu Savory // Nov 19, 2003 at 12:36 am
Right on, Betsy!
That last bit sounds like London, UK, this week. Seven MILLION dollars just so that Dubya gets a photo with HM the Queen for his next propaganda campaign. Sheesh!