The CIA has a new “Iraqi Rewards Program” offering cash to those with useful information.
Check out the list, and then read it again to notice the useful information they don’t want.
What they do want, and will pay for: “Iraqis who are
able and willing to provide detailed information on Iraq’s WMD programs and efforts to hide them. ”
What they don’t want, or at least aren’t willing to pay for:
- Iraqis who are
able and willing to provide detailed evidence that Iraq had no weapons of mass destruction. - Iraqis who are
able and willing to provide detailed evidence about people who worked to exaggerate the importance of the Iraqi WMDs
No word on what fraction of rewards for WMD testimony will be paid for by the Committee to Re-Elect George W. Bush.
From the CIA Inbox
Dear CIA, Yes! I’ll confess! Iraq had a huge arsenal of weapons of mass destruction including 17 H-bombs. Why can’t you find any? They were, uh, airlifted to North Korea by FedEx.
Please disregard my previous letter saying that the weapons were loaded into a flying saucer by Jane Fonda dressed up as Barbarella. Note that my new story has one more H-bomb than the previous one. Could I have my money in small bills please?
4 responses so far ↓
1 jr // Feb 12, 2004 at 1:49 pm
I’m sure I saw a copy of that email, it was signed by General Nubuto of the Nigerian Army Retired. There it no proof at this time that Social Security Funds were paid to the General.
2 Zoe // Feb 13, 2004 at 11:02 am
I heard somewhere that Social Security funds are being cannibalized to pay for this sort of thing. Nice to know that some Iraqi informant will be happily buying a Mercedes with my grandmother’s pension!
BTW I got myself a blog – I got sick of ranting to people in person so I thought I’d and rant to people I couldn’t see instead ;-)
3 Taran // Feb 17, 2004 at 6:48 pm
In other news, the FBI has discovered strange organizations in the United States which may be a part of anti-American sympathizer plots: NSA, CIA and ‘Homeland Security’, the latter thought to be a spin off of the former “Motherland Security’ instituted by the KGB.
Film at 11.
4 steven // Feb 18, 2004 at 4:57 am
who was it, on tv the other evening [ah, I remember, it was Mel Gibson] who said they want to go somewhere that nobody’ll ever find them… he was going to pitch a tent right next to the WMDs :-)