Betsy Devine: Funny ha-ha and/or funny peculiar

One of the seductive, heartbreaking things about owning a pet is that they stay the same for so much longer than people. OK, so Marianne no longer looks like a ball of white fluff, punctuated by shiny black nose, pink tongue, white teeth (ouch!)

But when I look down to see who is dancing around my ankles every time I open the fridge, it is recognizably the same little dancing dog who has tried hard to trip me in many previous kitchens.

When Marianne arrived, my daughters were 7 and 14. Do you want to guess if they’ve changed in 15 years? Marianne stayed short–and her interest stayed focused on things I might drop on the floor.

A pet’s life is like a long, peaceful plateau where, for years and years, whatever else in your life changes, the pet stays the same. In fact, there are only 5 stages in a pet’s life:

1. Every morning, you are delighted: that cute little puppy is still there!
2. Every morning, you are delighted if that cute little puppy didn’t pee on something you care about.
3. Every morning, your dog is delighted, and treats you as if you had been away for 6 months and returned with an armload of dog biscuits and chew toys. [This is the stable state for owning a dog.]
4. Every morning, you are delighted if that dear old dog didn’t pee on something you care about.
5. Every morning, you are delighted: that dear old dog is still there.

Marianne, I regret to say, is now at stage 4.