Mother Nature sent me a free sample of old-age hearing loss back when I
was a mere young sprout. I went for a long noisy car ride and, when I
got out, a whole bunch of neurons inside my left ear had decided to quit.
There are some good sides to this problem (and there are some good
reasons my children occasionally tease my by singing Monty Python’s “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life.”)
For example:
- I can sleep in a noisy bedroom just by pointing my right
ear into the pillow. - Sometimes I “hear” some truly remarkable
things–like a radio ad for a restaurant with “ballet parking.” - And I
get lots of practice on filling in the blanks.
At Harvard Square’s Boston Chowda* the other day, I kept
overhearing the cellphone talk of a 6-foot-tall blonde goddess at the
next table.
claimed we were totally invited to this Hollywood party, but when I
walked in and saw __________ [name] I realized that he just been
totally lying. No way we were invited. And then all of a sudden, you
won’t believe this but ___________ [name] walked up to me and said,
‘You’re lookin’ good’ … “
And so on — I’m giving the Mad Lib
version, of course, because my polka-dot hearing kept cutting out every
time she lowered her voice. So I got to fill in the blanks with my own
idea of what would be a fun story–for example, that the
wrong-party-clincher was Julie Christie and Johnny Depp told the
goddess she looked good.
In real life, it was probably much less glamorous–but who cares? Certainly not my optimistic imagination.
A Hollywood party like the one I pictured–hey, it probably even has ballet parking!