Betsy Devine: Funny ha-ha and/or funny peculiar

More than 10,000 years old, tattered scrolls found in a clay pot near Jericho contain what may well be the first two-minute pitch of a business plan. The scrolls were found near the remains of nine fossilized figs, said to represent the birth of agriculture: “Eleven thousand years ago, there was a critical switch in the human mind — from exploiting the earth as it is, to actively changing the environment to suit our needs,” Dr. Bar-Yosef said in a statement from Harvard. “People decided to intervene in nature and supply their own food rather than relying on what was provided by the gods.”

Nearby scrolls reveal, however, that the creative effort of early farmers quickly inspired some early entrepreneurs:

Hark, O King, to a plan whereby we shall profit many gold shekels from the “figs” whereof all Jericho now speaketh.

And some say, user-generated foodstuff is an abomination, for how can mere mortals create food like unto Jehovah’s?

Yet others torment the fig-planter, saying where is thy revenue model? Whereat the fig-planter’s teeth are set on edge.

O King, I propose to hang scrolls upon every fig tree, whereon any peddler or merchant may hawk his wares.

Many gold shekels of revenue will they pay us!

The fig-planter may be fobbed off with a small share, and we shall prosper greatly.

Yea, verily, we should acquire even more riches, could we but find some rival to undercut the price of that rascalous, greedy scribe, the one known as Google.