Go out the door of your bedroom. If you cannot find the door of your bedroom because your room is too dark, fumble your way to the heavily curtained window and tug open one of the giant wooden shutters.
Go out the door of the bedroom and turn right–toward the humongous copper footbath (or holy water font?)–then turn left at the corner and walk down that long granite corridor.
Walk until you get to the huge oil painting of St. Peter–he’s the saint with keys. With a slight dogleg left , you’ll see the super-sized staircase. Wait–before you go down, you should check where you are.
Look out any window and notice the marble sculpture below. This will help you re-find the courtyard you want to get back to–in our case, one surrounding a carved domelike structure. Sadly (and this was to cause me much confusion) it turns out the hotel has two different enormous courtyards arranged around similar dome things. Our courtyard is the one whose topiary has simple geometric shapes, not the one with fancy green swirls and logos.
Walk down carpeted steps to the ground level, where you will find yourself in between the two domed-structure courtyards. Walk into the simpler-topiary domed-structure courtyard and look to your left, where you can see through a whole bunch of arches a fountain-like sculpture topped by an ornate, er, acanthus. (If you meet Sigmund Freud, don’t ask him what that sculpture looks like.)
On the other side of that courtyard are two different glass doors. Go through either of them, and you’ll find…a kind, helpful person who’ll show you the breakfast room.