10. I’ll no longer be getting five phone calls a day from phone-bank volunteers who want to know my political views.
9. I’ll no longer be getting six phone calls a day from phone-bank volunteers who want me to become a phone bank volunteer.
8. I will be able to park near a Catholic church without having my car leafleted with photos of partial-birth abortion.
7. I will be able to park near a Baptist church without having my car leafleted with photos of gay men tearing up Bibles.
6. I will be able to park near a school without having my car leafleted with photos of Osama Bin Ladin threatening my children.
5. Kerry won’t get blamed for the messes Bush made in his first term. (Clinton will have to keep on taking the blame.)
4. The prayers that made George Bush a “miracle” President might
bring us miracles that I’d like too. (Peace in the Middle East
would
be
really nice…)
3. I’ll get another $600 check in the next round of payback tax breaks for millionaires.
2. Jokewriters would be so lost without George Bush.
And the number one best thing about this election:
1. Millions of Democrats around this country are hugging and kissing to
make each other feel better–so nine months from now, we’ll have
millions more Democrats!