Betsy Devine: Funny ha-ha and/or funny peculiar

Give somebody a blog–it’s the ultimate last-minute gift. You’re giving a gift of respect and encouragement, plus the offer of more of your time to help set things up. One size fits all. No shipping and handling. Your mileage may vary.

Biz Stone has been writing a series of creative help-pieces for new bloggers, and his latest is an excellent tutorial on setting up a “gift” blog.

Biz works for Google/Blogger (say that three times fast!), so his advice assumes you’ll be using their software. But you can use his advice, with minor modifications, to set up a new blog using your own favorite blogware.

I’m not sure I’d go the whole distance Biz suggests of creating a popup card with the Blogger logo–a red ribbon on the keyboard is enough marthastewart for me.

Despite these quibbles, “Biz Stone, Genius” was the obvious right pick for Feedster’s Christmas Eve “Blog of the Day.”

Awesome, two of the funniest guys I know are appearing together for your metablogging delight–DRUM ROLL–I give you Frank Paynter interviewing David Weinberger!

Paynter and Weinberger, together at last! If I were religious, I’d hope for a heaven where all kinds of team-ups happen that we missed on earth:

• Shakespeare teams up with Mozart to create the world’s funniest and yet most meaningful opera.
• Brendan Fraser swings through the jungle with Vivien Leigh dressed as Scarlett tucked under one arm.
• Babe Ruth rounds the bases after a homer but gets tackled by William “Refrigerator” Perry.

None of the above will happen anytime soon, but Paynter meets Weinberger is a good substitute! Check out this free (as in I just stole it, so why should I charge you?) excerpt:

Frank: Whom would you rather be seated next to at a dinner party: Martin Heidegger, Howard Dean, or Woody Allen? And why? What would you want to talk about?

David: I’d rather sit next to Howard Dean because he may well be in a position to actually change the world. Also, he’s not a Nazi or a pedophile, which are pretty much my minimum requirements for dinner companions.

Be there or be square.

If you want a job, there are two kinds of people to hire you.

Alpha people. And everybody else.

Alphas are company owners, entrepreneurs–people who really care how the story comes out. Alphas work hard to hire somebody great. Alphas care about what you can do, how smart you are, and how hard you work. If you can get hired by Alphas–you lucky dog!

Most job offers, alas, are made by Betas. (I’m being polite here–hot-tempered folks might call them “Human Resources.”) Betas have one, only one, question in their minds:

Could I maybe get in trouble by hiring this person?

Betas look for “the obvious candidate.” But that’s only secondary to the main thing they’re looking for–to avoid the “don’t-hire” candidate who could get them fired.

If you don’t have a job but hope to land one–don’t blog yourself into oblivion with the Betas:

• Don’t blog your drinking habits, pet peeves, relationship issues, etc. in a personal blog that’s on the first page of Google when Mr/Ms Beta types in your name.
• Don’t blog your drinking habits, pet peeves, relationship issues, etc. in a personal blog that’s linked to from a site on the first page of Google when Mr/Ms Beta types in your name.
• Hey–limit yourself to corporate/geeky stuff on any page linked to from Google results for your name.

In a just universe, everybody would hire like Alphas. In the *current* Bush recession–hey, have some compassion for Betas scared for their jobs!

If you’re smart enough that an Alpha should hire you–take only a tiny step more. Be smart enough not to scare away the Betas.

One of my favorite jokes, hope it cheers you up after reading this post:

There are two kinds of people in the world, they say.
Those who think there are two kinds of people–and those who don’t.

Incredible snow.

I was supposed to drive to VT Saturday to join Halley in visiting Dean HQ. No such luck. Halley, who drove up Friday, has been partying with Doc Searls and Britt Blaser and is still blizzarded in up there Sunday partying some more.

Thank goodness I had this description of Dean HQ from David Weinberger to make me feel almost as if I were there.

On the positive side, Scott Johnson of Feedster just revived his personal FuzzyBlog. I nostalgically kept the old FuzzyBlog in my blogroll for months after it stopped getting updated. Now it’s back!

Anyone who doubts Scott has enough great ideas to run two fine blogs–well, you just doesn’t know Scott.

• Item: His BloggerCon explanation of “the blogger’s condom.”
• Item: Should Feedster index Yahoo groups?
• Item: Shower context stupidity.
• Item:
  Betsy Devine: Hey, did you hear about this spam event at MIT?
  
  Betsy Devine: http://dev.r.tucows.com/blog/_archives/2003/12/1/7834.html
  
  Scott Johnson: nope but I went last year. I’ll go again.
  
  Betsy Devine: sounds like fun.
  
  Scott Johnson: signed up. thx.
  
  Scott Johnson: best comment from last year
  
  Scott Johnson: “Look at all the really smart people in this room.
  
  Scott Johnson: Then consider that your profession is blocking penis enlargement ads”
  
  Betsy Devine: Yes!
  
  Betsy Devine: OK if I blog you saying that?
  
  Scott Johnson: Yep
  
  Scott Johnson: that’s not exact, exact but damn ass close.

If the snow keeps falling, at least we’ll have both blogs to read.

Exciting news from the world of serious science! Biologists have linked a mysterious, underwater sound–“like a high-pitched raspberry” said one–to bubbles coming out of a herring’s anus.

Teenagers of both sexes are re-planning their careers as a result. Who wants to become a boring billionaire banker when a life in science means you get to talk about your research on “FRT”? (That’s what scientists are calling the sound. It’s an acronym for “Fast Repetitive Tick.” )

Tell your friends, and don’t forget to point them to where they can actually hear herring FRT-ing.

If you see a red herring? The chances are he’s blushing.

I found this important news item thanks to Wayne of “The Right Perspective”. I can’t improve on his final analysis:

Scientists speculate that the reason they do this, which is mainly at night, is to communicate with each other. The question begs to be asked, “What are they saying?”

After due consideration, I have decided to accept David Weinberger’s nomination as Howard Dean’s running mate.

Since JOHO mentions only two of my qualifications, let me add a few more ways I could help Dean win:

• By running a daily Feedster search on karl+rove,* I can help Dean keep track of what Bush’s brain is up to.
• My NH roots should help with that vital primary.
• Dean will look tall standing next to me for photos.

If elected, I pledge to keep blogging and trying to make people laugh. This will keep me out of a lot of trouble Dick Cheney seems to have gotten himself into.

Many thanks to David for bringing this unusual job opportunity to my attention!

* Funny story I just found via Counterspin Central: Conservative students try to pass themselves off as disgruntled Democrats attacking Dean.

Feedster search on shawl

Elaine

“If blogs are printing presses, and if Big Media is the Catholic Church, then clearly Dave Winer must be Martin Luther!”

Footnote: Buzz Bruggeman blogged this remark from a recent chat with Steve Garrity.

Footnote on previous footnote:
My previous footnote is nothing compared to Gary Turner’s quote of Frank Paynter’s quote of my quote of an unblogged remark by Kevin Marks.

If you hope to make money and more-a
you ought to imbibe Marks’s lore-a.
In media res
may be a nice place
but the money’s in Mediagora.

The illusion that we’re spying on “secret” kisses sells millions of movie tickets every year.

Danny O’Brien’s Oblomovka has some great stuff to say about blogs and the borderlines of public, private, and secret:

In the real world, we have conversations in public, in private, and in secret. All three are quite separate….

On the net, you have public, or you have secrets. The private intermediate sphere, with its careful buffering. is shattered. E-mails are forwarded verbatim. IRC transcripts, with throwaway comments, are preserved forever. You talk to your friends online, you talk to the world.

This is why, incidentally, why people hate blogs so much. My God, people say, how can Livejournallers be so self-obsessed? Oh, Christ, is Xeni talking about LA art again? Why won’t they all shut up?

The answer why they won’t shut up is – they’re not talking to you. They’re talking in the private register of blogs, that confidential style between secret-and-public…They’re writing for friends who are interested in their hobbies and their life. Meanwhile, you’re standing fifty yards away with a sneer, a telephoto lens and a directional microphone. Who’s obsessed now?

Read the whole post, lots of great stuff, starting off with Foo camp and Andrew Orlowski–who can kiss mah grits –preferably in public.