Betsy Devine: Funny ha-ha and/or funny peculiar

Left to right: Dean’s dynamite staffer Mike Weissman, Dean database guru Aaron, mega-blogger Dave Winer, NH Dean volunteer Chace Vanderwolk, looking forward to casting his first vote for Howard Dean.

Dean came strolling down the street with TV cameras and pundits following him. He seemed to be having fun, and to like them all.

Talk about “Metablogging”! Dave Winner* took a picture of me taking a picture of him….

Dave has a page of huge wonderful images. I have just a couple more (one of Deaner Mike, Deaner Aaron, Blogger Dave, and Deaner Chace–the other showing Dean’s actual arrival) on this page.

*Aw shucks, folks. If Dave wants to call me “Besty” on his website, don’t you think I ought to return the compliment, by misspelling his name in a flattering way?

…hey, don’t say I didn’t warn you.

Tonight I met Howard Dean and heard him speak. About 250 of us showed up at a NH house party, including a bunch of cool Dean volunteers I’d met before and primary-blogging guru Dave Winer.

Okay, I want to blog this event for you so you picture being there with me.

First, you and I took our garbage to the town dump, because Wednesday the dump is open and after that it’s closed until Saturday. You carried the stinky bags to the garbage crusher–how nice of you! I had the fun of throwing cardboard and paper into the recycling box with a mighty THWOKK.

Then, we drove to Johnson’s Dairy Bar on Route 4 in Northwood, where I had a lobster roll and diet coke. What did you get? If you were hungry, a fat cheeseburger or maybe belly clams. (If you eat dessert there, watch out for their “small” dish of ice cream–it’s 3 big scoops.)

Then we drove back to my house to get my dog, who would rather sleep in my car than be left alone, and drove down to Manchester–NH’s biggest city. Once we got close to the party, Dean volunteers at almost every corner waved us toward Allied Avenue.

So if you were with me, we parked our VW and rushed off toward the party. We got stick-on Dean tags, and if you took my advice we stood in the street until Dean arrived so that you and I could really, really see him.

Lots of people were there. People I knew were there. Probably, people you know were also there. TV cameras were there. And suddenly Dean was there, walking down the street, smiling, being interviewed, being photographed, enjoying himself and the people talking with him.

If you were as bold as I was, you shook his hand once those TV cameras stepped back. Then we followed him into the Kelleys’ back yard to hear him speak. Dean spoke without notes, and covered a lot of topics. I also took no notes, but here are a few of the things I remember him saying:

• “I’ll have some fun talking about the President, but a person running for office should also say what he’s for.
• “The two things a candidate has to get right are foreign relations and the economy. Bush has both of these completely wrong.”
• “Fifty per cent of Americans no longer vote. We’ll win by giving them a reason to vote.”

The crowd loved it. I loved it. My feet are covered with mosquito bites–I hope you weren’t wearing sandals! Boy, I’m tired–aren’t you?

After the talk, we walked my dog, but it was no use. She still went wee-wee-wee all the way home. Oh well, it was worth it. Don’t you think so? Okay, good night.

The Center for Disease Control (CDC) used to figure out which sex-ed
programs worked and which ones didn’t by measuring stuff like teenage pregnancy
rates. CDC even described some actual “Programs the Work” on their website,
so that other schools could borrow successful models.

Was that a good thing? Not for the Bush and his right-wing-religious supporters.
Because it turned out that not one single program that worked in the real world
was abstinence-only. Programs that worked also taught kids about condoms, information
that schools now promise not to teach if they want money from the CDC.
CDC pulled its description of “Programs that Work” from its website–after all,
if ignorance is good thing for high school kids it must be doubly so for the
schools that serve them.**

Will kids who take abstinence-only drivers’ ed have a hard time passing actual
driving tests?The Bush model solves that problem–replace the old-fashioned
driving test with a new CDC-approved quiz–and, if kids say they think they
can drive, just give them a faith-based license.

The Bush model means we don’t have to keep any records of accidents and injuries
suffered by students who get faith-based licenses. But let’s hope emergency
room physicians didn’t train in med schools that use the same kind of testing…(“You
think you’ll make a good doctor? Okay, you pass,–here’s your M.D. degree and
have a nice day.”) And let’s hope HMOs don’t figure out that the only sure way
to keep people from dying in hospitals is to close those hospitals down and
lock the doors.

* Do abstinence-only programs work? They are to be tested by these
criteria only:

• Proportion of program participants who successfully complete or remain
  enrolled in an abstinence-only education program.

·

• Proportion of adolescents who understand that abstinence from sexual
  activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy and sexually
  transmitted disease.

·

• Proportion of adolescents who indicate understanding of the social, psychological,
  and health gains to be realized by abstaining from premarital sexual activity.

·

• Proportion of participants who report they have refusal or assertiveness
  skills necessary to resist sexual urges and advances.

·

• Proportion of youth who commit to abstain from sexual activity until
  marriage.

·

• Proportion of participants who intend to avoid situations and risk, such
  as drug use and alcohol consumption, which make them more vulnerable to
  sexual advances and urges.

** “Thank you for your interest
in Programs that Work (PTW). The CDC has discontinued PTW and is considering
a new process that is more responsive to changing needs and concerns of state
and local education and health agencies and community organizations”

For the real skinny on how the Bush team distorts science with ideology, check out this report from the House Committee on Government Reform.

What’s wrong with “abstinence-only” sex education–programs that don’t mention condoms except to say they can break? Bush claims such abstinence-only programs are all kids need to protect them from AIDS and unwanted pregnancy.

Hey, if abstinence-only works so well for sex-education, why don’t we use
it for drivers’ education?

What, because research shows that kids who take drivers’
ed have fewer accidents and fatalities than kids who don’t learn such skills?
Well, Mr. Left-wing “Scientist,” the Bush team has changed the way we measure success.

From now on, drivers’ ed is a success if 1) kids attend classes, 2) kids learn
that the only sure way to avoid accidents is to stay off the road entirely,
and 3) kids tell you they now have the skills they need. Yes, criteria just
like these are being used to prove that abstinence-only sex education works.

If these criteria work for sex-ed classes, why aren’t they used by med schools? (“You
think you’ll make a good doctor? Okay, you pass,–here’s your M.D. degree and
have a nice day.”) And let’s hope HMOs don’t figure out that the only sure way to keep people from dying in hospitals is to close those hospitals down and lock the doors.

For the real skinny on how the Bush team distorts science with ideology, check out this report from the House Committee on Government Reform.

Lots of us talk the talk about blogs as a political force, but Dave and Halley went walking the walk yesterday. That is, they car-pooled up I-93 to hear Senator Bob Graham address the Rotary Club of Manchester, NH (my old home town.)

Now, I don’t agree with everything Dave and Halley say*–but that’s not what matters! What matters is that I got an eyewitness report from fellow-bloggers on a real-life political face-to-face event. (Rich-kid favorites prefer attack ads on tv and push-poll telemarketing.) Dave even got pictures!

And you too can be part of this, as Dave points out:

The key point, the one not to miss, is that anyone can do this. Today’s Rotary session was open to the public. We paid $10 each so we could eat, but if we didn’t want to eat the cost would have been $0. The candidates want to talk to you.

And, bloggers, when the candidates talk to you, they talk to us all! Yee hah! Come all ye bloggers! Put your feet where your mouth is (I always do) — or your carpool where your mouth, or whatever–and blog this primary!

* Dave, I don’t think Graham is being dishonest in opposing Bush’s big deficits–tax cuts for the rich don’t pass on a richer nation to our grandkids like (say) government spending on schools and hospitals. Halley, I think that Dave is smiling in this picture! And, if I’d been there, I sure would have had to that Howard Dean is the best Presidential candidate in years!

Some little elves armed with modern technology just intercepted a long-distance conference call, to which I added names completely at random…

Bush: Let’s make this snappy. I am on vacation.
Rove: Yes, sir, but we have to deal with this blackout problem.
Cheney: You woke the President up for that? Get Halliburton!
Rove: Sir, our goal is not to improve the US infrastructure–it’s to find a scapegoat for the current blackout.
[Hubbub and confusion. Voices say “Lightning!”–“Power overload!”–“Canada!”]
Rove: Mmmm, we tried all those. None of them worked.
Rice: Tony Blair–no wait, that didn’t work on the WMDs did it?
Bush: Maybe that CIA guy would do it again–you know who I mean….
Rumsfeld: George Tenet, sir.
Tenet: With due respect, sir–no.
Rove: Sir, I have prepared the usual list of loyal allies now willing to take a bullet on this issue. I remove one name at random from this hat–the slip reads [pause] “Dick Cheney.”
Cheney: Hey, you promised me….
Rove: Hmmm, ahhh, there seems to be some mistake…
Ashcroft: Why not Cheney? He’s the guy with the secret Energy Panel….
Rove: …so I’m drawing another slip of paper…
Rice: Hey, this is an emergency! The papers are starting to blame deregulation…
Rove: …and this one says…..[long pause]
Rumsfeld: Well?
Ashcroft: Well?
Cheney and Tenet: [together] It better not be me….
Bush: Well, what does it say?
Rove: It’s a picture of President Truman with his sign–the famous sign that says, “The buck stops here.” [pause]
Bush: Fine, blame Truman. Good-bye. [click]
Ashcroft: You know what this means? Terrorists have infiltrated our scapegoat hat…
[Further transmission was obscured by static.]

You know how when people talk about Fox News, the first words that come to their minds are “fair and balanced“? I mean,we bloggers try to be fair and balanced, but, dang it, Fox News really just pushes that fair and balanced envelope so far out to the edge is isn’t really fair (let alone fair and balanced) to have to compete in the same ballpark with them.

That’s why Fox’s fair and balanced lawyers are
so upset with Al Franken for daring to use the words “fair and balanced” in the subtitle of his latest book,
Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them: A Fair and Balanced Look at the Right.

It turns out Fox News has trademarked the words “fair and balanced”! Who knew?

Meanwhile, of course, sales of Franken’s book are soaring thanks to this unforeseen publicity. Rumor has it that Al Franken plans to show his gratitude for these windfall profits by buying a better trademark for Fox News: the phrase, “unfair, unbalanced, and really, really stupid.”

You gotta admit, the California recall campaign is opening up the political scene. Above, two of  the 6 or so million recall candidates attracted to the bright lights of this media circus.  

My brother-in-law Bill Fleece, a former Florida State Senator, just sent the following email to Congressman Darrell Issa of California.

“Your state is millions of dollars in the red. You have spearheaded a recall election slated to cost your state and counties over 66 Million Dollars!

You truly qualify for the slogan “Leave No Millionaire Behind—Vote Republican”.

At best you are a fiscal conservative. At worst you are a blooming idiot. History is replete with examples of narrow-minded, self-centered egotists e.g. Claude Kirk, Napoleon, etc. Welcome to history!

I got a copy with Bill’s comment, “Maybe you will find it amusing.” and I pass it on out to blogworld because I did–thanks, Bill!

I got an email from Dave Winer inviting me to a blogging conference at Harvard. I liked the varied list of speakers–the right-wing Instapundit balanced by Josh Marshall, one of my favorite lefties, and so on. Dave said:

We’re going to talk about how weblogs are used in politics, business, journalism, the law, medicine, engineering and education.

And yet, believe it or not, when you consider that there are at least 200 notable bloggers addressing any one of these topics, the evil elitists of Harvard have invited only about 10 people to address this one-day event. Shocking!

Still, the price tag is $500–more than my blogging budget for the decade. And–sour grapes time–with that price tag, I picture BlogCon as industry-oriented do–aimed at showing the business world how some of our most successful bloggers do things. That isn’t the part of blogging I do anyway.

Now there’s a mini-firestorm in blogworld.

One good result of the hubbub is that Andrew Orlowski has chimed in to praise the bloggers attacking BlogCon. Since this is the first time I’ve ever seen Orlowski express anything but contempt for bloggers, his change of heart must surely be a good thing.