Betsy Devine: Funny ha-ha and/or funny peculiar

So, this year i ran out of flour on Thanksgiving morning.

Eeee! as the clock ticks toward guest arrival time, and you start to make biscuit-crust pie, not to mention gravy, flour is not just necessary, it is nnnnnnnneeeeeeeeeeeded!

After a brief search for substitutes, during which we considered pancake mix, corn starch, and a forgotten box of Bisquik that had expired in 2004, the girls headed off, both laughing, to Sarah’s Market, blessedly open even on Thanksgiving morning.

Last year, my Thanksgiving goof was burnt stinky popcorn. And who knows what craziness will befall us next year?

I’m thankful that shared happiness survives imperfection.

Some more Thanksgiving memories making me smile tonight…
• 2003: “Oh, Lord, you know I don’t know how to cook this ugly bird…”
• 2004: Aunt Mary and the missing gravy
• And for extra podcasty Thanksgiving spirit, Tony Kahn’s Hollywood blacklist Thanksgiving story

From my email inbox this morning–thanks, Aunt Billie!

My family is solid New England, and I grew up here except for a couple of years in Michigan, back when I would have been going to kindergarten if they had kindergarten in our little town there.

I remember being laughed at by little Michiganders for my New England accent, and then being laughed at by little New Hampshirites for the Michiganisms I’d worked hard to master.

So I was intrigued when Rebecca Blood linked to an American dialect quiz–and here’s what I scored, how about you?

I was there (and “real reporters” were not) in NH Federal District Court on November 16, when 34 year-old Shaun Hansen pled guilty to two felony counts arising from the 2002 NH phone-jamming scandal. Ten days after the Democrats’ national landslide victory, Bush-appointed US Attorneys in both NH and Idaho pledged not to question Shaun Hansen any further about his role in jamming NH phones on Election Day 2002.

Hansen’s deal with the feds, and his vague and evasive “factual plea” warrant scrutiny which the press has not given it–so here’s the PDF file.

And here, for eye-opening comparison is Hansen’s list of affirmative defenses.

Just a few smoking guns…

Guilty plea, page 4: The Department of Justice recommends sentencing leniency “based upon the defendant’s apparent prompt recognition and affirmative acceptance of personal responsibility for the offense.”

Prompt? Hansen jammed phones in November 2002. His “prompt” response to his 2006 indictment was an attempt to get the charges dismissed–or, failing that, to point out the lines of guilt connecting it through the Republican hierarchy all the way to the White House.

Affirmative defense, page 3: Hansen “had performed services for GOP Marketplace in the past and, based on its name and the type of work the business had been contracted to
perform, he reasonably assumed that GOP Marketplace was a governmental entity or at least that the activities that his business was being asked to perform had been approved in advance by the national Republican party.”

Search Hansen’s guilty plea in vain for any effort by the US Attorney to uncover the story behind these intriguing statement. Heck, search it in vain for the word “Republican”!

Affirmative defense, page 2: If the case comes to trial, Hansen “will present evidence that he and his business partner, Lee Leblanc, were parties to a conference call in which Messrs. Raymond and Cupit and an unknown ‘attorney’ provided further assurances that the acts which they and their business were contracted to perform in November 2002 were completely legal.”

Search Hansen’s guilty plea in vain for any information about this intriguing phone call, or for any clear details about dates or people involved. Guilty plea, page 10: “In or about late October or early November of 2002, a coconspirator telephoned Hansen to discuss a project.” That’s the level of detail of Shaun Hansen’s confession.

What this plea bargain looks like to me is a last-ditch attempt to close down the phone-jamming inquiry before Democrats get to ask Attorney General Alberto Gonzales about his six-months-and-counting non-response to their request for a special prosecutor.

NB. DOJ Attorney Andrew Levchuk, who headed the prosecutorial team against both Hansen and James Tobin, deserves kudos for hard work under adverse conditions. But Levchuk’s boss here is the US Attorney for the State of NH, Bush appointee Thomas Colantuono, whose many ties to the people being investigated and even to the lawyers defending those people in the Democrats’ civil suit have raised many eyebrows over his role in this case.

What scientist’s ego could possibly resist “Einstein Hollow Face” from brain-toy shop Grand Illusions?

It’s a supersized white plastic Einstein illusion that seems to be so fascinated by Y-O-U that it turns its head to follow your every movement (See movie here.)

It’s fun but disturbing, so–somewhat more upliftingly–here’s a cartoon that inspired me in 2005:

Just a reminder from Erin of DressADay:

You don’t owe prettiness to anyone. Not to your boyfriend/spouse/partner, not to your co-workers, especially not to random men on the street. You don’t owe it to your mother, you don’t owe it to your children, you don’t owe it to civilization in general. Prettiness is not a rent you pay for occupying a space marked “female”.

I’m not saying that you SHOULDN’T be pretty if you want to. (You don’t owe UN-prettiness to feminism, in other words.) Pretty is pleasant, and fun, and satisfying, and makes people smile, often even at you.

Pretty can indeed be fun and also heckuva useful.

Thanks to Anil for the pointer to Erin’s quote!

But I can’t stop smiling. The Democrats won–not just the House but the Senate!

It’s not just that the party whose policies I approve and whose leaders I trust is headed to Washington to curb the crazy excesses of Republicans who imagined that nobody would ever interfere with their corruption and cronyism.

It’s that Diebold machines didn’t steal this election, as people had feared. We do really have a democracy. That’s much more important.

And better than either of these wonderful things, the American people showed that Karl Rove’s ugly tricks couldn’t keep fooling them forever.

You know, it really hurt to believe that Republicans around the country really believed that I, personally, Betsy Devine, was a sleazy person who hated families and babies and soldiers and wanted to “cut and run” and was too stupid to understand the danger of terrorism and…but you get the picture.

Republicans around the country didn’t believe that about their neighbors who were Democrats. Thank you, thank you, Republicans! Let’s work together to make our wonderful country a better place for everyone!

So here I sit in my brand new Tshirt, etc. fresh from the hotel gift shop last night. Ready to go–what a wonderful, wonderful day!

I love you, beautiful, beautiful Norfolk, Virginia!

People around the world are interested in the crazy excesses of political spin.

What was the funniest TV ad this campaign? The stupidest? The meanest?

Go to MSNBC to see some amazing candidates. Here’s one election where it’s not (yet) too late to vote.

It would take Democrats three turn-overs to control the US Senate. And, at 9:42 p.m. they project….

• R — Sen. Santorum out in PA…
• R — Sen. DeWine out in OH
• R — Sen. Chafee out in RI

Nashua’s Crowne Plaza has free wireless–and a lot of happy Democrats here celebrating.

I now am the veteran of, not just a “visual” but (later on) something called a “knock and drag.”

I think Paul Hodes is going to defeat (former) US Congressman Republican Charlie Bass.

Update, 9:49 p.m. from the Union Leader election blog

BULLETIN: UnionLeader.com has learned that Republican U.S. Rep. Charles Bass is preparing to call Paul Hodes and congratulate the Democrat on his victory.

Woo hoo!!!! And late-comer Carol Shea-Porter is currently “tied” with Congressman Jeb Bradley! (That is, she’s ahead so far, but not by much.)

What fun. 10:45 p.m. Well, I’m headed for home. If you’re following NH election results–and the Republicans may well lose the First District to Carol Shea-Porter as well as the Second to Hodes–New Hampshire Public Radio has the best coverage I’ve seen.

One candidate and two Republicans in Nashua, NH

Originally uploaded by betsythedevine.

There were a bunch of local candidates holding signs, plus some local Democrats holding signs for Paul Hodes (Democrat for Congress in NH-02) and John Lynch (popular Democratic NH Governor).

So who was there for the Republicans? Exactly one man, a campaign worker who had come up from Virginia to hold campaign signs. (Later, a woman from Mississippi joined him. But I can’t complain, since I drove up from Massachusetts.)

The other Republican in this picture is someone who came to the polls to vote for Paul Hodes.

Wow–this isn’t statistically significant, but it sure sounds good so far.